Life.

When you’re 14:

• You wish you were 18.
• You can’t wait to be 18 and move out.
• You want a job so bad to be able to buy more shit.
• You can’t wait for the day you’re out of high school.

When you’re 18:

• You wish you could be 14 again. 
• You dread moving out or want to move back in because life’s harder than you thought. 
• You wish you could quit your job and have your parents support you but you can’t because you’re an “adult”. 
• You wish you could go back to high school and actually enjoy it. 

God we humans are so fucking weird, we want what we can’t have and when we have it we want what we had before. One thing I’ve learned in my 18 years on this earth is that life is not fair and that I should enjoy every age and every moment because it won’t ever happen again.

I feel like I’m not really here, I’m alive but my soul is dead.

I’d be lying if…

I’d be lying if I said that everything’s okay, that nothing’s wrong but I wouldn’t be lying if I told you I don’t know what it is that won’t let me be happy. 

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss you, but I wouldn’t be lying if I said I’m better off without you.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like you, but I wouldn’t be lying if I said I don’t know why I like you.

I’m such a complicated fuck, and I’m not really sure about a lot of things, but what I am sure of is that I miss you and that you were just so perfect for me but I guess I wasn’t perfect for you and there’s nothing I can really do, I won’t change, I know I’m perfect for someone, I would just really would of loved it if it was you I’m perfect for. 

I know I’m a fool for liking you this much, especially after everything that’s happened but I guess I don’t mind being a fool, you’re absolutely perfect in every way and I don’t know what the fuck is going on in your head and I’m dying to know.

I’d be lying if I told you that I’m over it all but I wouldn’t be if I told you that I wish I was. I know you’re better off without me, I know I’m not good enough for you but I just want to let you know that I tried my best.

I’m sorry for everything and I hope the next person that gets to call you theirs treats you well and gives you everything I wanted to give you.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want you to be happy, but I wouldn’t be lying if I said wish I could be the reason for you happiness.

You’re a princess, to me you’re perfect, there’s nothing more perfect than your face, your smile, your laugh just you. I wish I could go back to the day I met you, you were so shy and so awkward, it was so cute and from that moment I’ve been crushing hard, I just wish you felt the same.